Just so we’re clear about this: consent doesn’t make it okay.
I’ll repeat that. Consent does not make sexual violence okay.
To illustrate this point, let me tell you a little story about a man named Armin Meiwes. Mr. Meiwes, a German man, has some peculiar interests. That is to say, Armin Meiwes has a sexual fetish for cannibalism.
In the early 2000s, Armin Meiwes posted an ad on a cannibal fetish website, seeking a “young, fit male, 18-30 years old, to be slaughtered and then consumed.” A man named Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes answered the ad. As far as anyone can tell, Brandes was an otherwise normal man in a healthy state of mind when he consented to be murdered and eaten.
On March 9, 2001, Meiwes and Brandes got together to act out their fantasies. After attempts to bite off Brandes’ penis proved too difficult, Meiwes amputated Brandes’ penis with a knife and sauteed it with oil and spices. They tried to eat it together while Brandes bled out in the bathtub. After Brandes lost consciousness, Meiwes slaughtered him like an animal, kept his body parts in the freezer, and “ate parts of him for the next ten months.”
Meiwes, as you may have guessed, is doing life in prison on a murder charge. But why? After all, Brandes consented to the whole thing. He volunteered. Theoretically, Brandes was enjoying the situation as much as Meiwes. If consent makes violence okay, why is Armin Meiwes in prison?
Kinksters, this is the logical conclusion to your reasoning. By your logic, Armin Meiwes was falsely imprisoned, martyred, even, by the vanilla oppressors. Instead of being locked up, he should be out teaching classes on how to practice cannibalism the RACK way!
After all, he’s not dangerous. He only slaughters and eats people who consent. What he does in the privacy of his own home is nobody’s business, right?
Wrong. This example is extreme, but the facts remain that what you do IN the bedroom has consequences OUT of the bedroom. Abuse is abuse, and murder is murder, no matter how much leather you dress it up in. Violence doesn’t stop being violence just because you consent to it.
Of course, you’re still welcome to believe that consent is the end of the conversation. Just know that Armin Meiwes, the Rotenburg Cannibal, agrees with you.